When we raise our children, we bought parenting books to read, we are so careful not to repeat the bad things our parents did to us. But we forgot to check are we actually doing the bad things to our spouse?
One very common things our Chinese parents in the last generation did was to use abusive words to teach their children, they believe by putting down the child will make them wanted to do better. I recently realised sometimes our generation (husband and wife) will unintentionally said things that hurt each other, blame, or make each other feel guilty... we are not even aware of what we were saying because we were being brought up in that kind of environment. All these sound so normal and familiar...
Therefore, teaching and raising kids positively is hard for this generation, we have to learn to be patient. On the other hand, building loving relationship with spouse is even harder, and need more attention, especially when we disagree on certain things. When a talk turns to a discussion or a debate, before it becomes "high level", we have to learn to stop and walk away. I have learnt writing my feelings on paper.
At the end of the day -- peace and love are the most important thing for a happy family :)
Love is patient and kind.
Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.
Love does not demand its own way.
Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged.
It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstances.
~ 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Monday, August 27, 2007
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
The Center of The House
Like planets evolve around the sun, children should evolve around parents. In a house, parents should always be the center, never the children.
The children will grow up and leave the house one day. Those parents who evolve around the children will suddenly lose their center. With an empty house, they do not know what to do anymore. They will realize they are not familiar with their spouse because the couple is not the center since the first child was born.
So I remind myself, hubby and I should be the center of our children. We have to make sure we don’t forget to care and love each other while busy attending to the kids, or take a short trip/holiday together without them. In a way, we also become good role model to them.
I hope one day when the children leave us to create another wonderful family, hubby and I will remain the center of the house… and still loving each other.
'Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother—which is the first commandment with a promise— that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.' ~ Ephesians 6:1-3
The children will grow up and leave the house one day. Those parents who evolve around the children will suddenly lose their center. With an empty house, they do not know what to do anymore. They will realize they are not familiar with their spouse because the couple is not the center since the first child was born.
So I remind myself, hubby and I should be the center of our children. We have to make sure we don’t forget to care and love each other while busy attending to the kids, or take a short trip/holiday together without them. In a way, we also become good role model to them.
I hope one day when the children leave us to create another wonderful family, hubby and I will remain the center of the house… and still loving each other.
'Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother—which is the first commandment with a promise— that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.' ~ Ephesians 6:1-3
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Real Wealth
I remember the night after having Anna "full month" celebration together with close family, relatives & friends; Everyone at home were so tired cleaning up the house. We received lots of gifts and of course $$$, Ang Pau.
At first I planned to save some of those money and may be spend some of it to buy something for Anna. The next day, to my surprise, my husband used the money to pay for a restaurant room with karaoke facilities and invited the whole family to a dinner...
The "usual" me will be complaining him wasting money, but this time I am rather happy he did that. The dinner was nice, with everyone enjoying eating and singing songs as a family. Isn't that wealth? It was already in my hands! How scary to know that we can easily lost wealth by wanting to keep more money.
Both of us had learn this wisdom of wealth earlier from Bruce, a respected elder. He let us understand the different between wealth and rich. Lots of people keep wanting to earn more and save more, so that they can be "richer" to do the things they want. But they can miss out the wealth they already had.
A wealthy person can have just enough money and time... to chat with spouse, going out with kids, have a great meal with family, go for a holiday with friends, have good relationship with God. He or she is happy, and have a loving family. That is wealth.
'The wealth of the wise is their crown, but the folly of fools yields folly.' ~ Proverbs 14:24
At first I planned to save some of those money and may be spend some of it to buy something for Anna. The next day, to my surprise, my husband used the money to pay for a restaurant room with karaoke facilities and invited the whole family to a dinner...
The "usual" me will be complaining him wasting money, but this time I am rather happy he did that. The dinner was nice, with everyone enjoying eating and singing songs as a family. Isn't that wealth? It was already in my hands! How scary to know that we can easily lost wealth by wanting to keep more money.
Both of us had learn this wisdom of wealth earlier from Bruce, a respected elder. He let us understand the different between wealth and rich. Lots of people keep wanting to earn more and save more, so that they can be "richer" to do the things they want. But they can miss out the wealth they already had.
A wealthy person can have just enough money and time... to chat with spouse, going out with kids, have a great meal with family, go for a holiday with friends, have good relationship with God. He or she is happy, and have a loving family. That is wealth.
'The wealth of the wise is their crown, but the folly of fools yields folly.' ~ Proverbs 14:24
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