To my dear sister,
Most people have heard of the story of a professor putting the big stones into a hugh glass jar. He then poured in smaller stones, then poured in sand, then poured in water. This is not to show his student no matter how full it looks, there is still room to add (improve); But is to show them, if you do not put in the big stones first, you will never get to put them in at all.
I believe there are big milestones in life we put in - Birth, Maturity, Career, Marriage, Pregnancy, Child-Birth, Health, Knowing-God. Some of these happen at specific time. If we miss any of it, we may feel some regret in life.
One thing I learned not so early was:
'If you don't manage your life's milestones, decide and chart your path... life will pass you by.'
Are you marrying him? Dunno.
Do you love him? Dunno.
Do you plan to find someone else? Dunno.
When do you think you should get married? Dunno.
Have kids? Dunno.
These are the answer I get from you. Is it a trend now?
Actually in olden days, like mom and dad, people were somewhat unconsciously aware of marriage milestone. They plan their path, aim to marry specific person at a specific time. May be life is easier nowadays, so people takes things for granted... until one day when they get old, no matter how much money they have... they will fall back to face certain milestones they miss - marriage, pregnancy, kids.
TV, movie, novel sometimes beautifies things. People are forever waiting for things to happen by itself... forgetting that milestones need them to plan to achieve.
Stop waiting for your lover to knee down asking for marriage, you two can actually sit down and plan for it. Stop looking at oversea just because you feel that there is no equal opportunity in this country. There is no one place in the world that has equal opportunity. Every country has people succeed and become millionaires, and every country has beggars too. Do you know poorer countries says here is heaven?
One do not need to be equal to go for success. One just need an opportunity and hard work to be successful... remember that. Read books of successful people, their mind set is different than usually what people thought things were. That's why they are successful no matter where you place them in the world. Upgrade your mindset, not only career updates, you will have a wiser view, and you will be happier without all the complaining.
Love,
Your sister.
