Change My Thought and Have a Great Husband

Just came back from Singapore. Found some books from Kinokuniya there, quite interesting. Very impressed with the variety of books in the bookstore, and like the way they arrange the books... somehow was very easy for me to locate similar title in the same area (not that Malaysia don't have, but sometime I just didn't 'meet' the books I am looking for), and there are few racks on just the same topic!

Among all that I like, I am especially impressed by the book 'The Surrendered Wife' by Laura Doyle. I learned so much on the why and how wife is intended to be (by God's design). I can say I found something that answered my questions of why-submission, and it give me so much insight :-)

Currently also reading another books in similar topic: 'The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands' by Laura Schlessinger and 'A Wife After God's Own Heart' by Elizabeth George.

Highly recommended the book to all my married girlfriends, your intimacy, love and passion will be back after you try out, and 'suddenly' you find out you got a great husband all-these-while!

Temptation is everywhere?

I used to think that if people live properly, follows God's principle, they will not need to face the temptation on adultery. But I was wrong.

Some time ago, my 2 girl friends whom are air stewardess told me about the "real world" out there. Yeah, I mean the seductive world in the Service Industry, regardless of men or women. Especially job in marketing, film, airline, hotel, maid, etc.

They told me that, in the airline industry, if you do not hold a set of value, it is very easy that you fall into the sin of adultery and become a high-class prostitute. Imagine the customer can be multi-millionaire that can offer money and any luxury things. In their industry, everyone know who hold the value and who don't.

While the air stewardess had long flight, the airline will provide them each a separate 5-star hotel room to stay. Outsiders (the local) are able to get their hotel phones and door numbers. People do knock at their doors late night, or call them on the phone...

The other day, I brought my maid to the dentist. While waiting I went out to buy something. When I came back, I notice the fat man sitting at the corner had moved to sit next to my maid. But he have not do his move, and my maid is afraid to even lift her finger. My maid told me, maid agency also had warned them, there will always be men 'hunting' or 'fishing' them, especially when they know she is a maid. Man includes the construction worker, garbage collector, etc. So, what happen then will all depend on her own moral.

This reminds me of an incident. Many years ago, I went to a 5-star hotel in KL to look for a friend working there. While waiting at the lobby, the hotel manager called me from his desk, requested me to do some Chinese-English translation for him. He passed me his phone. I heard from the other side a man with heavy China accents, asking whether the hotel can provide ladies for his 2 business partners whom going to stay there next week. I told the manager about the man request, and the manager ask me to inform him, they do not provide such 'service', but it's alright if he bring his 'friends' over.

Well, this is the real world. We really need to use our brain and ask God's help to strengthen us. If you refer to the great bible, you see these mentioned so many times in different chapter again and again, even kings fall short in this area. Remember how we are supposed to pray? "...don't let us yield to temptation, but deliver us from the evil one."


'But remember that the temptation that come into your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will keep the temptation from becoming so strong that you can't stand up against it. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you will not give in to it.' ~ 1 Corinthians 10:13

How to Live Healthier and Longer?

Many things people tell me on how to be healthy.

The common ones are:

• eat less red meat,
• drink less coffee,
• eat less eggs,
• eat less oil,
• don't drink alcohol,
• don't smoke...

The specific ones are:

• eat no salt,
• eat no sugar,
• eat no fast food,
• eat no junk food,
• eat no MSG...
• eat only organic food,
• eat no GMO food,
• eat no antibiotic food...

All of the above suggestion are great, but the main thing is how to apply it? If I work in the city and do not cook myself, I don't think I can find any food around that can comply to all the above. I believe I would died of starvation or stress!

So my healthy philosophy? If I am not cooking, my eating philosophy is to EAT MORE GOD-CREATED FOOD.

1. I will choose fresh make noodle soup instead of instant cup noodles.
2. I will choose fruit juice (without sugar) instead of gassy drinks.
3. I will choose grapes or watermelon that have seeds instead of the seedless ones.
4. I will choose food that can get rotten few days later instead of the one that has an expiry date.

However, sometimes it is not what people eat that contaminate their bodies most; it is the words people said that contaminate people's bodies and souls. People who get blamed, criticised, worries a lot... will get sick and die young regardless of how good the food they eat everyday. Make sure you do not get into that; on the other hand, make sure you are not the one saying hurtful things to others.

You are not defiled by what you eat; you are defiled by what you say and do... Anything you eat passes through the stomach and then goes out of the body. But evil words come from an evil heart and defile the person who says them. ~ Matthew 15:11, 17-18.

Vaccination?

Recently saw my mom-in-law's friend brought a new born granddaughter to visit us. The baby is so cute. The grandma told us that the baby don't have appetite to eat for a week already, she said the baby is happily eating every meals until the day he took that vaccine a week ago...

In my heart I know what's happening to the baby, his body is trying to deal with the toxin. I just prayed that the baby will go through it safely. I feel a bit upset as it reminded me that many parents in this country still do not make an effort to check out what vaccination is all about, what it was made and what it did to the body, especially to a tiny baby whom immune system still not fully develop yet (if taken all, there are total 10-13 needles in the baby's 1st year).

I remember just after my delivery, when I told the nurse I do not want my baby to be vaccine, she didn't understand and cannot accept at all, but I know my rights by law well. Later, I managed to talked to a doctor who just came back from US. She agreed with me that not all vaccine should be taken, and different country actually practise differently on which vaccine to take, certain country do not give vaccine anymore. And some choose to wait til schooling time to take vaccination, where the immune system is fully built.

Parents nowadays are careful of what food to put into their children's mouth, what kind of books their children read, what information the children get from school or the net. My hope is that they also make an effort to check out what is those vaccine that is being injected into their children's body.

Dare to Discipline

Well, got a friend asking me to list out all the books I have read that have helped me. It's a good thing to do on my blog and share with everyone, but it will take some time, cause I would like to mentioned a bit on how it had helped me instead of just listing them. Will slowly reveal one by one when I revisit them again.

Recently rereading the book The New Dare to Discipline (by James Dobson) since my girl is turning 5. The star chart taught in the book become very useful, and also somewhat helps me to focus the things I want her to do daily.

With the chart hanging on the door, my girl will do her homework, brush her teeth, not fight with the brother, etc, and get her reward by earning stars. She recently got 10 stars and we brought her to watch the movie Ratatouille. In a way, this also taught her later in the real world, things do not just come in easy, and nothing by just a hand out. One have to make an effort, even how small it is.

May be in future, I will get her to earn her own pocket money by helping me fold clothes, cut vege, or wash the car... ;-D

In the book, it also mentioned about children or even baby at certain stage will "challenge" the parents in order to check out who-is-the-boss in the family; and it is important that not to let the kids be the center of the house.


'Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him.' ~ Proverbs 22:15

Happy Family

When we raise our children, we bought parenting books to read, we are so careful not to repeat the bad things our parents did to us. But we forgot to check are we actually doing the bad things to our spouse?

One very common things our Chinese parents in the last generation did was to use abusive words to teach their children, they believe by putting down the child will make them wanted to do better. I recently realised sometimes our generation (husband and wife) will unintentionally said things that hurt each other, blame, or make each other feel guilty... we are not even aware of what we were saying because we were being brought up in that kind of environment. All these sound so normal and familiar...

Therefore, teaching and raising kids positively is hard for this generation, we have to learn to be patient. On the other hand, building loving relationship with spouse is even harder, and need more attention, especially when we disagree on certain things. When a talk turns to a discussion or a debate, before it becomes "high level", we have to learn to stop and walk away. I have learnt writing my feelings on paper.

At the end of the day -- peace and love are the most important thing for a happy family :)


Love is patient and kind.
Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.
Love does not demand its own way.
Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged.
It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstances.
~ 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

The Great Mom and Success of Child

I am very impressed with the 2 books "The Great Mom and Success of Child 1 & 2". It answered me to questions I always have: how to raise good kids to be good adults?

I know to raise kids cannot rely purely on academic education. It has to do with something that the kids learnt by watching and being with people around them and the environment they are in. But how? yes, I found the answers from these books... awesome!

I am passing the book to some friends to read. However, this book is in Chinese (originally in Korean), and I am not able to share with others who doesn't read Chinese.

I am planning to make some notes on it (and hopefully able to apply them). Will share it on my blog later.

Guy Movie or Gal Movie?

Although had been chating with friends through the net for many years, this is the first time I chat with hubby using messenger. The feeling kinda good.. (1) he pay attention to every word I said; (2) the topic can go more in depth and he's still awake! *yeah*

After I got married, I decided to have long chat with only my female friends; as I find when I chat with male.. topic better be work oriented and short, else, most of the time I will end up facing the male trying to flirt, which I don't want to get myself into. But with hubby, I feel very free to chat or even say something sweet.

Hubby told me he plan to watch a "guy-movie" with a male friend. Then I realised all these years I have hold him back from asking me to accompany him to do things.. things that I used to label "for guys only" and "for ladies only" (eg. violent vs. love story).

I told him I don't mind watching the movie with him, and he was quite surprised. I go on explaining, since we got kids our time together are very limited and precious.. as long as the movie is not too "one-sided", I guess we can watch together. The main thing is to be together together.

He agreed. And we both are very sure that we won't go and watch those devil movies.. which are too "out" of our zone anyway.

The Center of The House

Like planets evolve around the sun, children should evolve around parents. In a house, parents should always be the center, never the children.

The children will grow up and leave the house one day. Those parents who evolve around the children will suddenly lose their center. With an empty house, they do not know what to do anymore. They will realize they are not familiar with their spouse because the couple is not the center since the first child was born.

So I remind myself, hubby and I should be the center of our children. We have to make sure we don’t forget to care and love each other while busy attending to the kids, or take a short trip/holiday together without them. In a way, we also become good role model to them.

I hope one day when the children leave us to create another wonderful family, hubby and I will remain the center of the house… and still loving each other.


'Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother—which is the first commandment with a promise— that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.' ~ Ephesians 6:1-3

Homeschooling?

I first learned the concept of homeschool from some friends whom are already doing it. That time I think I was either pregnant or have my small baby with me. I saw the homeschool kids, and I really like them! With a young age, they have good attitude, they know God and learn His principles. They talk with confident and politeness to adults (not only to their peers), and have good manners. That was something I lack even when I was 18, and was graduate from a so-called boarding school.

Hubby and I did consider homeschooling when we my eldest daughter reaching pre-school age. One main reason is because it is a way of life. Later, I read a book and learned about how school came about...

Before 19th century, there are no such things as public school, adolescence, or gender gap. Age was not consider important to complete studies. People graduated at different age, some at 17, some at 28. Students matured at their own rate, progressing at their work on own level. Even social gatherings, children mingled with adults.

End of 19th century, Horace Mann was the first to put students in classes with a fixed learning pace separating them. Then early 20th century, Granville Stanley Hall wrote a book "Adolescence: It's Psychology, and its Relationas to Physiology, Anthropology, Sociology, Sex, Crime, Religion and Education". He believed that the stages of man were the same as the stage of history, and felt that adolescence required teenagers to be separated from those older and younger than themselves. Basically, this set the groundwork for rebellion to be accepted as part of "being a teenager". Many social psychologists since have viewed this rebellion as a good thing, and credit Hall with inventing adolescence.

Dewey was Hall's most renowned follower, and taught this to educators at the University of Chicago. Dewey created High Schools. Thus, by 1950, within a generation after Dewey we saw, for the first time in the western world, an adolescent sub-culture. The generation gap appeared in the difference of own music, literature, dressing, language. Contrary to the scripture teaching: "You shall rise up before the gray headed, and honor the presence of an old man and fear your God".

One of the most frequent questions people asks regarding homeschooling is about the kids' socialization. I found a very good site that can explain about socialization, which open my mind on this interesting explanation.