When we raise our children, we bought parenting books to read, we are so careful not to repeat the bad things our parents did to us. But we forgot to check are we actually doing the bad things to our spouse?
One very common things our Chinese parents in the last generation did was to use abusive words to teach their children, they believe by putting down the child will make them wanted to do better. I recently realised sometimes our generation (husband and wife) will unintentionally said things that hurt each other, blame, or make each other feel guilty... we are not even aware of what we were saying because we were being brought up in that kind of environment. All these sound so normal and familiar...
Therefore, teaching and raising kids positively is hard for this generation, we have to learn to be patient. On the other hand, building loving relationship with spouse is even harder, and need more attention, especially when we disagree on certain things. When a talk turns to a discussion or a debate, before it becomes "high level", we have to learn to stop and walk away. I have learnt writing my feelings on paper.
At the end of the day -- peace and love are the most important thing for a happy family :)
Love is patient and kind.
Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.
Love does not demand its own way.
Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged.
It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstances.
~ 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
