A friend of mine got married and have babies. She never go back to work in the office, and just stay at home to take care of the kids. She sometimes wonder 'Is it worth it to let go my good career to be a homemaker? Now I don't get to wear nice clothes and makeup to work, I don't see many people, I seldom socialize or network, I can't go out whenever I like, and most of the time I feel like I can't handle the kids like I handle my work (so well) in office.'
I realised even woman that decided to quit her job during their kids schooling age will have the similar thinking in the first 2 years, regardless they know of the important reason behind handling that resignation letter or not - the reason to let kids have a mom at home. Some will end up going back to the work force because, at the end of the day, work is still easier to handle than little human being, and work has a time-out.
In order for myself not to dwell into the same thinking
(1) I get myself to read books about raising kids. James Dobson's books are among the good ones. They are to remind myself of the importance of the role of a mother at home. What I can observe and input to my kids in the early age before they reach the teenage years.
(2) I pickup the habit to groom myself whenever I go out somewhere... to shop for something, or visit someone. Make sure no messy hair, ugly T-shirt, etc.
(3) Plan a simple time table with my kids, to do things together, go for a walk together, exercise together, and take any opportunity to update them on knowledge, beliefs, values.
(4) Take a day off to go out with girlfriends, or sisters, or hubby.
(5) Pick up a passion part time work or hobby. Mine is to continue my bridal makeup service to others.
(6) Talk to someone who is doing the same thing, or who has done it. I once met an elderly lady who told me I am doing the right thing, and encourage me to keep it up. She did the same and all her 3 kids graduated, and are successful adults working in various fields. She can't imagine how they will turn out to be if she did not stay at home to keep an eye on them.
(7) I get myself involve in some woman's group to keep myself updated. Attend some of the event or workshop to know more ladies, and share things that ladies like to talk about. Recently found interesting topic regarding some big IT companies thinking of providing shorter work time or work-from-home for moms, cause they see the trend where a high-performer leave after having babies. US already starting this!
For those who are working, I urge you to consider staying at home as an option, especially if your salary is mainly covering your working expenses, extra car, petrol, working clothes, baby-sitting and maid. Because a mom at home for the kids cannot really replace simply by any other person or program (baby-sitting, maid, tuition, etc).
If you are a stay-at-home-mom or a work-from-home mom, welcome you to contact me. We can keep in touch to encourage each other to do our best in this primary role of mother. Although we are not pay a salary, this is the most important task one cannot put a price tag on. We should be proud of ourselves, and we will be glad on how our kids turn out to be later... that will be our greatest rewards in days to come.
'Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.' ~ Deuteronomy 4:9
