Dare to Discipline

Well, got a friend asking me to list out all the books I have read that have helped me. It's a good thing to do on my blog and share with everyone, but it will take some time, cause I would like to mentioned a bit on how it had helped me instead of just listing them. Will slowly reveal one by one when I revisit them again.

Recently rereading the book The New Dare to Discipline (by James Dobson) since my girl is turning 5. The star chart taught in the book become very useful, and also somewhat helps me to focus the things I want her to do daily.

With the chart hanging on the door, my girl will do her homework, brush her teeth, not fight with the brother, etc, and get her reward by earning stars. She recently got 10 stars and we brought her to watch the movie Ratatouille. In a way, this also taught her later in the real world, things do not just come in easy, and nothing by just a hand out. One have to make an effort, even how small it is.

May be in future, I will get her to earn her own pocket money by helping me fold clothes, cut vege, or wash the car... ;-D

In the book, it also mentioned about children or even baby at certain stage will "challenge" the parents in order to check out who-is-the-boss in the family; and it is important that not to let the kids be the center of the house.


'Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him.' ~ Proverbs 22:15

Happy Family

When we raise our children, we bought parenting books to read, we are so careful not to repeat the bad things our parents did to us. But we forgot to check are we actually doing the bad things to our spouse?

One very common things our Chinese parents in the last generation did was to use abusive words to teach their children, they believe by putting down the child will make them wanted to do better. I recently realised sometimes our generation (husband and wife) will unintentionally said things that hurt each other, blame, or make each other feel guilty... we are not even aware of what we were saying because we were being brought up in that kind of environment. All these sound so normal and familiar...

Therefore, teaching and raising kids positively is hard for this generation, we have to learn to be patient. On the other hand, building loving relationship with spouse is even harder, and need more attention, especially when we disagree on certain things. When a talk turns to a discussion or a debate, before it becomes "high level", we have to learn to stop and walk away. I have learnt writing my feelings on paper.

At the end of the day -- peace and love are the most important thing for a happy family :)


Love is patient and kind.
Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.
Love does not demand its own way.
Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged.
It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstances.
~ 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

The Great Mom and Success of Child

I am very impressed with the 2 books "The Great Mom and Success of Child 1 & 2". It answered me to questions I always have: how to raise good kids to be good adults?

I know to raise kids cannot rely purely on academic education. It has to do with something that the kids learnt by watching and being with people around them and the environment they are in. But how? yes, I found the answers from these books... awesome!

I am passing the book to some friends to read. However, this book is in Chinese (originally in Korean), and I am not able to share with others who doesn't read Chinese.

I am planning to make some notes on it (and hopefully able to apply them). Will share it on my blog later.